i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
