she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
