How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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