Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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