If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
