I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
