I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what day is it and did you see me today?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
