Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
