i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
