If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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