My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize