But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
