It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize