Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How does one acquire holy water?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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