let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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