So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
