Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm both gender and math confused
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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