ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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