I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
where does the pee come out of this thing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
