My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
