Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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