Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize