i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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