No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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