Michael Bay diarrhea
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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