The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
