About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
