I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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