For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
