Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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