don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
