Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
