five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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