Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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