____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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