I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
