I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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