Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
