Plan B is the new Plan A
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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