Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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