i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
