it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize