Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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