i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
