i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
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Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
