U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
