When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
