anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
