marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
