do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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