that's an acceptable place to lick
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize