I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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