They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
