What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
