I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to make out with him forever
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
