Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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