I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
