I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
