you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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