Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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