So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
