you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
