paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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