You're my little dorito
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
